Chapter 15

I have noticed lately that the new cashier-Cassandra (she's the type where she wants you to call by her full name), has had her eye on me.  Every day when I'd come in to get some new equiptment to sell, I'd see her looking at me.  I'm the type of guy who needs barely any clues at all to get it: 'yeah, that girl likes me.'  We've already gone through that I'm no normal guy, so hopefully this comes to no surprise to you.  I do have issues igniting a convo with girls, but it doesn't mean I don't notice.

So, one day after work, as I was heading to go home, she comes up to me.

"So-erm...Alex.  Alex, how was your day today?  Mine was good except when one lady brought in coffee and a dog-I could've sworn she was insane.  Then she spilled her coffee on a guitar and the dog peed on it.  She said it was because she thought it smelled good-aparently he loves coffee.  And then I had to get Mr. Simmons over-cause she wasn't listening.  She wouldn't pay for it.  I don't know exactly what happened-then she left."  She blushed big.  She is so nervous talking to me, aparently-babbling and everything.  "And you?"

"Oh, it was only okay, that is until you walked over here.  You are a burst of sunshine."

Yes, Marshall and Jeff have been trying to teach me to pick up women.  But I never really get a 'chance' to talk to any (that's just my excuse for being too nervous to confront anyone), so I'd say that their skills are being wasted.  But, being the girl pick-uppers that they are, wouldn't hear it.  Their best friend will get one sooner or later.  More like later-or at least that's what I've been thinking.

But now-now I have an excuse.  It's the confrontation that matters, right?  And-since I don't have to do that and I know that she likes me-I'm good.  And yet that also makes it more complicated.  Now I can't mess up.  Oh dear llama.

The difference of me between Marshall and Jeff, though (along with many other things), is that my pick up line didn't sound nearly as good and confident as the way they say it, so I just looked at the floor.  Not blushing-because I'm not that nervous.  It's just Cassandra-it's just Cassandra.

Yeah, yeah.  That's right.  It's just Cassandra.  I'm cool, this is cool.  I'm all good.

Though I felt like a dork, she did light up like sunshine.  Then she blurted out: "Wannagotoaconcertwithmetonight?"  Yeah, she said it really fast her words almost collided together.

Oh my llama!  A girl just asked me out.  A girl just asked me out!  And she's not a psychopath or anorexic!

Oh, the joys of being me. For now. Marshall and Jeff say that girls never ask the guys out!  They can be so old fashioned sometimes.  But only with girls, really....Sexist.

"Yeah, sure that sounds great."

"Cool-pick me up at seven.  You'll have to drive an hour to get to it.  Don't worry, I'll have the directions!"

"Alright, see you then."

Alex, you just landed a date.  Your first official date!

When I got home, I started to embarrass myself from my giddiness.  I must've been staring at myself for hours in the mirror, repeating to myself "now, who da man?  You da man."

Not to mention, I did a bunch of freaky hand gestures and poses to myself.  I was a circuis show with no crowd (and thank llama for that!).

Marshall let me wear his jacket for our date since he thought that I should dress up, but not too much.

"First dates are when the girl is staring at you, and checking you out.  You need to look your best-but you don't want to look like you're trying too hard.  Just put this on and some jeans."

So I did.

Later, I arrived at her house precisely at seven (I'm just cool like dat).

It was a humble northwood-ish cabin house.  Naturally, I went with my job's frame of mind.

What does that mean, then, according to this house, what Cassandra's personality is?

The first thing that came to mind was the obvious: she is an outdoor-sy type person.

Hmm, could be true.

Maybe she also likes the cold, since it's freezing in the northwoods, but really only someone like me would think of that.  There's no way I could really tell anyway-cause it's July!

But, chances are this stereotype is wrong.  Only in my own little strange mind do these stereotypes ever prove to exist.  It's just that there's always one person that it is true for.  I just can't help but to think about it!  It's in my own, messed up nature.  My strange, strange nature.

When I rang the door and she strolled out, I didn't see the "hot librarian" anymore (that's what I always think of her as.  Her glasses, and her clothes...just remind me of a librarian.  But she has such nice hair and makeup, and the clothes just work for her-hot librarian).  She looked hot in her little red dress.
But I could tell that she was nervous to tears-bless her.   We are alike in our shyness, yet not at the same time.  I'm both and neither...

Anyway...

"Hey handsome!  Let's get going.  We don't want to be late."

Ah, the librarian speaks again- the 'we need to be on time and I don't want us to be late even if you're perfectly on time' situation.

"Yes, of course.  Let's go."

While we were driving, she was fiddling with the maps she brought.  I really should just get around to asking mom and dad-or uncle Otto (the best uncle ever) to buy me a GPS since I'm too poor to buy one for myself.  But for now, I'm stuck with old fashioned maps.  Annoying maps.  She was having issues using it, and I was starting to "panic myself up".  So, we basically had no time to small talk.  It was all her fumbling with the map and telling me which way to go, figuring out how long that would be, and me just concentrating on the road.  I have no idea where this concert was going to be taking place or anything.  I don't know, it was some random town that I've only heard of.

It was pretty obvious where it was when we neared the concert.  There were spotlights shooting up in the sky, and there were big tv screens, and it was just beautiful.  I'm not really the type to go to concerts-and I didn't think that Cassandra was (what type of a hot librarian goes to concerts?).  It was also a little weird that she invited me the day of to go to a concert.  Aparently she just had tickets sitting around.

Oh, she was probably just nervous and bought them a while ago, and just got up the nerves to ask me. OR MAYBE...maybe her best friend died and she decided 'hey, why not go with that cute guy from work?'

There goes me, jumping to conclusions.  But only in my head.  I was sure it was the first one.

When we got there, there was a good number of people.

Normally, small talk is just a 'meh-ish' kind of thing for me, but we actually could go right on to the 'real talk'-if that applies.  Because we're at a rock band...and I knew nothing about it.  I'm not really a music person.  Sure I listen to the radio now and then, but I'm not "music savvy."

"So, who is playing tonight?"

"They're called Victory to the Downtrodden.  They're a really cool band."

"I never thought that you were into rock music..."

...Because you always have reminded me of a hot librarian.  The type of chick that sits at home reading a good romance on a Saturday night.

"Well, underneath this shy girl exterior is a girl with an edge.  But it's not like I'm obsessed with them.  They're just one of the bands I listen to."

Soon, the whole band came out.  They really were a rock band.  I could tell because I would never wear the clothes the guys wore, and I never see girls in the outifts that the girls wore.

The music blared so loud, I wished I brought earplugs.  The tune was exhilerating, but the lyrics were strange.

"This is one of my favorite songs of theirs!  It's called "Eaten by the Devil.""  Somehow, hot librian had a very loud voice that I could hear over the blaring music.  Granted she was right beside me screaming in my ear, but still.

"There are many people in this world

that get eaten by the devil

those are the weak

but the strong are the ones that overcome

the weak

the weak just get smooshed to the edge of life-

of society

And we are the strong we are the strong!..."

The lyrics were hard, the lyrics were strange.  But somehow the hard bass (that echoed the whole place, I swear it), drew me in.

I took a closer look at the bass player and guitar player as Cassandra told me about them.

"The bass player's name is Viper.  You may not think so by the name, but he's a sweetie!  He always seems so-so mature in interviews.  And the guitarist is named Fushcia Fusion.  She is okay.  She always says the wrong things when she's interviewed.  I don't think what she says is always appropriate, but maybe that's just me."

Then I looked at the keyboard player and drummer.

"The keyboard player's name is Razor.  She throws really cool parties-at least that's what I heard.  But she's a total slut!  I don't really like her.  And the drummer's name is Trenton.  Everyone always calls him that because he hates his real name which is Bob.  Ha!  He has anger issues though.  So he really is fit for the drums, am I right?"

"So what's with the tatoos on their chests?  Do they all have that?"

"Oh!  Yeah, they all do.  It's the band's symbol.  Cool huh?

"The singer, Zeus Thunder was the one that started it.  Before they even started the band, he got that as his tatoo, and when he started the band, they all decided that that would be their logo!  It's totally brilliant."

"Yeah, that's cool!  You don't see bands doing that everyday."

"No you do not."

The songs throughout the concert were all similar in nature.  The words devil, fire, hell, the end of the world were all phrases and words used heavily.  By the end of it, I was really sick of "Victory to the Downtrodden."  No way was I going to go to a concert for them again.  It's not that it was bad, but I guess hard rock just really isn't my thing.

While leaving, there was less fiddling with the map (thank god), but more talk of the band.  She kept going on and on about everything there was to know about them.  Um, yeah, she isn't a casul listener like she implied.  She is an obsessed wannabe.

Maybe she isn't such a librarian as I thought...

But really, who ever lives up to stereotypes anyway?

When I arrived at her house, I thought I would just have to walk her to the door like a good guy is supposed to.  But, lucky for me, I was spared from having to do that.

When we arrived at her house, she hopped out.  "Bye Alex!  Thanks for the ride.  This was fun.  I have to go to sleep.  I am so tired!"

So is she a party animal or is she not?

She is obsessed with a rock band, speaking about them nonstop. Yes.

Is shy at times (yet still blabs awkwardly at other times), is afraid of not being prompt, has an early bed time (as far as coming home from concerts go with a guy dropping her off at home).  No.

Well, real life is full of contradictions.

I figured I might as well go to bed too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was with a girl, and she was beautiful.  She was skinny, but not so skinny, with gorgeous light brown hair, with a nice girly outfit without overdoing it.  I wasn't really looking at her face, but her lips were lucious.

We started staring at a painting.  Aparently we were in an art mueseum.

"Alex, if you're not careful you're going to become like those lit trees in the background.  You gotta do something with your life.  Be like a deer and run away from it all."

Then we were looking at another painting.  Confidence rolled up in my veins, and I put my arm around her, and she put hers around me.  I just felt like concentrating on the warmth I felt from holding her, and I listened to her in a daze.

"I'm so glad you never got into sports, Alex.  Sports are so cliche."

Then we were staring at a painting of a beautiful yet chilling woman.

"Does this woman remind you of anyone, Alex?"

And of course it did.  Marina-or whatever her name was.  Her skin was a similar color, but not quite so pale.  I then felt the same way I did seeing that painting as when I saw her like a vampire for the first time.  Such chills, such chills it made me freezing.  But the girl wrapped me up in her arms.  I felt warm where ever she was touching.

"There there, Alex, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you feel that way."

But then I freaked out when I looked in the mirror.  I was a girl-and the girl was no longer a girl...but a guy.  But what was even creepier was that I found him....I found him attractive.  But then I looked at myself and I was attracted to my female version.

Just look at my volumptious cleavage!

But staring at me and him creeped me out.  Especially my being attracted to him. No, no.  I am perfectly straight!  I am not gay, I do not find him attractive!

But the more I tried to convince myself of that, the more I looked.  And the more I looked the more I was attracted to him.  Even creepier-I wanted to kiss him.

But then it all became so confusing for me-and I woke up.

Most disturbing dream ever.

Upon waking, I realized that the lady that turned into a guy...his clothes looked exactly like Viper's did.

But I didn't find him attractive.  At least not in a gayish sense, right?

I just brushed off that thought.  It was a dream, playing tricks on me.  I can't truly think for myself in dreams, so of course my self consious was making me think that.  It was just a dream, truly random dream.

But really, it wasn't so random.  Another fling with a girl, and it didn't work out.  If this happens again, I'm going to just blow up!  Is it so much to ask to find a girl that I'm compatible with?  If only...

If only..